The Adventures of the Queen of Insanity: Book 2
by Turtle Queen of Freeks
Summary: Monkey and Turtle are back!
1. A Basic Review of All the Changes

Disclaimer: I do not own any movies or characters except for Turtle, Doctress, Tibby, and Tigris. Other than that, all that I own is the plot. I know. I'm disappointed, too.  
  
The Adventures of the Queen of Insanity: Book 2  
  
Chapter 1  
  
A Basic Preview of All the Changes From Book 1  
  
Hello, everyone. I would like to note some of the changes from Book 1. Obviously. First off, I'm still not writing script style anymore. Secondly, this takes place in a movie. I know, it's it just lovely! Although some of the parts may take place in Freece, Insartia, Carmenia, Camana, or Stretica, it mainly going to take place in *drumroll* Pirates of the Caribbean! *applause*. Please review. You don't have to review the author's notes, but if you do, I'd certainly appreciate it. 


	2. What Strange Relatives You Have

Disclaimer: All that I own is the plot and Turtle, Tigris, Doctress, and Tibby. That's IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
What strange relatives you have  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow flounced onto the dock where two idiots stood guard and "his" ship awaited. This was going to be easy. Just when he was about to walk past them, one of them said, "Hey, you can't come here."  
  
Really? Jack thought. I didn't know that. Wait, yes, I did. "There's a military thing going on at the fort. Why weren't two such fine gentlemen as you invited?"  
  
"Somebody has to guard the ship," the second idiot said.  
  
Silently a portal opened behind the two idiots, and out stepped two young ladies who were obviously wearing wigs. The one in the blue dress smacked idiot number one in the back of the head, and the one in the black dress threw a live fish at idiot number two.  
  
"That worked better than I expected." Jack said happily. He flounced on board the ship.  
  
"Hello. We're here to help you," said the girl who was in the process of stepping out of the blue dress wearing some very strange clothes. "I'm Turtle."  
  
"And I'm Monkey." The girl was stepping out of the black dress and throwing her wig as far as she could.  
  
"We're representatives of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Queens," continued Turtle who was putting her wig on the dock for some poor blonde person to find.  
  
"Nice to meet you. Thanks, I guess. How exactly are you going to help me?" Jack was untying the ship by now.  
  
" Well, all that I'm supposed to say is that some of our friends are coming. But there's going to be a lot of other stuff that's gonna happen. By the end, you will once again be captain of the Black Pearl." Turtle said. "Now if you don't mind, I'll have to tell my friends that the coast is clear." She stuck her head in the portal and yelled, "Tibby!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stay away from my blue lipstick!!!!! You can't have it!!!!!!!!!"  
  
A voice from inside said, "I don't want it. I just want to throw it away before somebody thinks that it's mine!" An explosion was heard. "Doctress!!!!!!!! Why did you have to hurt my CD's? Don't you like Justin Timberlake?"  
  
Monkey, Doctress, Tigris, Rhee, Aria, Stella, and Turtle all yelled together in unison, "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Geez. You don't have to yell!" Tibby said.  
  
"Who's Justin Timberlake?" Jack had never heard of such a stupid name.  
  
"A unic with a bad haircut and a preppy girl friend who's attempting to be a goth even though that's impossible for her to do, because of the fool she made of herself when she first started singing." Turtle depressingly answered.  
  
Well, I've got to go eat pizza, so bye! 


	3. Jack Gets Caught

Disclaimer: I only own Turtle, Tigris, Doctress, Freece, the plot, and Tibby.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Jack Gets Caught  
  
"Right . . ." Jack obviously thought the two girls were crazy. The fact that they were was not to his benefit.  
  
Tibby however thought Justin Timberlake was hot and decided to say so. "I'm not even going to start on that trashy girlfriend of his, but he's not a unic!"  
  
"How do you know?" Turtle would have a good point.  
  
"I just know!" Tibby wouldn't.  
  
"Sure, you do." The others stepped out of the portal. Suddenly, they heard a splash behind them.  
  
"Should we tell him?" Monkey didn't like the idea of leading him into a trap.  
  
"Nope. This is his part in the story. We aren't going to change that." Turtle, however, was merciless.  
  
"Will you be saving her then?" You probably know this part, but I'm putting it in just because I can.  
  
"Monkey's afraid of jellyfish, and my friends and I aren't supposed to be seen by people until we get to Tortuga. In fact, we aren't supposed to be here. Besides you're supposed to save her. Don't worry, you'll see us in Tortuga." Turtle had everything planned.  
  
"OK. Hold these." Jack was clueless. He handed them his weapons and dived into the water.  
  
"We should have told him. When are we going to give these back to him?" Monkey was almost as clueless as Jack.  
  
"When we see him in Tortuga. The jailers would just take them away from him."  
  
"How cruel!" To Rhee missing weapons were an injustice. "That's stealing! Law people aren't supposed to steal!"  
  
"But they do. And we're the ones who get in trouble for it. Let's just hand them to him on the dock. He might need them." Turtle was attempting to help the dude. He was her great-great-great-great-great- great-uncle after all.  
  
~Later on the dock~  
  
Jack was currently getting in trouble. Our heroes were standing nearby on the dock not being noticed. "Hey, Jack!" Rhee yelled at him. "Here's your stuff." She said handing him his weapons.  
  
"Thanks." Jack didn't really see how this was going to help him, but who cares? Of course, he didn't know that Rhee and Doctress were explosives experts.  
  
"Hey! Who are you?!" The guards had noticed them.  
  
"Uh, oh! See you in Tortuga!" Turtle said shape-shifting into a sea serpent that the other girls jumped onto the back of.  
  
Monkey had one more thing to say. "You will always remember this as the day that you almost caught the Queen of Insanity. Oh, yeah, and the Queen of Freeks! And Doctress, Tibby, Tigris, Aria, Stella, Turtle-bot, and Rhee!"  
  
"You completely screwed up my line!" Jack yelled as Turtle swam them away.  
  
"Sorry, dude!" Monkey yelled back laughing as the idiots attempted to shoot them. They had obviously never quite understood what they were supposed to do with their weapons.  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've spent all morning writing, so you should be able to spend at least a few seconds reviewing!!!!!! 


	4. Tortuga

Disclaimer: I own the plot, Turtle, Doctress, Tibby, and Tigris. That's it!!!!!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Tortuga  
  
So Jack went to jail, and the undead pirate guys attacked that town. Elizabeth got kidnapped, so Will threw a fit and let Jack out of jail. They sailed to Tortuga where our heroes were waiting with Paprika, Nora, Pantoof, and Kim on a houseboat that Monkey got out of nowhere.  
  
"I can't believe you didn't let me come during the first part of the story!" Paprika was still complaining about how she wasn't in the first three chapters.  
  
"Sorry!" Turtle had been saying that ever since they had gotten to Tortuga. "Can you just be quiet? You know we're not supposed to be here."  
  
"Fine," Paprika said exasperatedly.  
  
"Good." Monkey would say something rude. Everybody glared at her. "What?" She was so foolish.  
  
"I think I heard something." Turtle put the hood of her cloak over her head so that if somebody looked at her they wouldn't be able to see her face. She stepped out of the boat and onto the dock. Two figures were getting out of the Interceptor. "Who goes there?" she asked in her royal, high-and-mighty, really creepy, mysterious voice.  
  
"Well, that all depends on who is asking," Jack said.  
  
"Who are you?" Will asked. He was a clueless person.  
  
"Turtle, Queen of Freeks and Supreme Ruler of Happy Frogs. Nice to meet you, Will," she said drawing back her hood. "I just have to tell my friends that you're here." She walked over the houseboat and yelled inside, "Hey yall! Jack's here!" Everyone climbed out, and Monkey threw the boat back into nowhere.  
  
"We're coming along on this adventure thingy to help you," Paprika explained. "As representatives of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Queens, we help people in worlds such as yours, and you were on our list of people to visit."  
  
"So basically, we saw the movie and decided to help you along on your adventure . . . quest . . . thing." Turtle interrupted.  
  
Suddenly Pippin's head appeared through a portal. "You stole my line!!!!!!!!!!!" Just as suddenly, he left, however, to chase butterflies with Merry.  
  
"That was weird." Turtle said, stating the obvious. "Anyway we won't exactly be sailing with you. We'll be in our little house boat. Don't worry. We can keep up with you."  
  
"OK, then." Jack didn't know what to say. They had planned all of this without him. And they were only kids!  
  
I have run out of ideas for today, but tomorrow, you'll read some interesting stuff. 


	5. Important Days in Shakra

If you have been reading this story enough, you will have already read the disclaimer . . . a lot, therefore I don't need to put a disclaimer.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Important Days in Shakra  
  
You've probably been wondering about this. Don't deny it. I know you have.  
  
"How?" a stupid person in the audience asked.  
  
Because I can read your minds. First of all, Shakra is the world in which Freece, Insartia, Carmenia, Camana, and Stretica exist. It has its own holidays, and it celebrates some of the unknown holidays from our world like Guy Fawkes' Day. You've probably never heard of it. Go look it up.  
  
Also, during the Autumnal Equinox, Carmenia has its Independence Day. Paprika normally has a ball to which all or most of the other reigning monarchs in Shakra are invited.  
  
Freece has its Independence Day on Halloween.  
  
"But why?" Damn that stupid person.  
  
Because it's the best day in the world other than Friday the 13th which happens to be Tigris' "birthday". Nobody knows what her real birthday is, so we just celebrate it every Friday the 13th.  
  
None of the other queens have told me their holidays yet, but I'll put them in another chapter soon. 


	6. Monkey, Rhiannon, and Rum

Chapter 6  
  
Monkey, Rhiannon, and Rum  
  
"Um, Turtle?" Monkey had a crazy question.  
  
"What?" Turtle was an impatient person.  
  
"Since when in Tortuga, and they don't have age limits here, I was kind of, sort of wondering if I could try some rum." Of all the idiotic things Monkey wanted to do!  
  
"No!" Turtle even had good reasons to go with her good answer. "If you and Rhee burn down Tortuga, we'll get caught here, which in case you've forgotten is a very bad thing! If these people start attempting to explore other worlds, our countries will be completely screwed up! What if somebody tries to take over Insartia or Carmenia or some other country? They have armies! We have happy frogs and clicky pens!"  
  
"Rhee and I wouldn't burn anything down! We'd be good. I promise," Monkey whined.  
  
"Stop whining!" Turtle said impatiently. "You and Rhee can have rum as long as one of us is supervising you other than Jack. And I'm not helping you when you get hung over."  
  
"Yay!" Monkey finally got to try rum! And it was legal!  
  
"Why can't I help supervise?" Jack asked indignantly.  
  
"Because you're a drunk old coot who would only encourage Monkey to do something completely idiotic like burning down Tortuga or getting arrested!" Turtle was planning on becoming a lawyer.  
  
"Oh, and you wouldn't?" Jack countered.  
  
"But I'm not planning on drinking tonight." Turtle would have a point. Jack just gave up and started muttering under his breath. "Anyway, I have a way to get out of showing the locals that we don't have the right type of money for this place. Plan 86."  
  
"Plan 86 being . . . ?" Paprika queried.  
  
"You'll find out when we get there." Turtle was good at being secretive. When they got to the bar, Turtle shape-shifted into a waitress and got their drinks. "You are so lucky that I'm the shape-shifter, and you aren't.'  
  
"Why?" asked Monkey.  
  
"A drunk, fat, old guy thought I was a hooker. You'd think people would understand the "stay away from me" signs!"  
  
"Really," Monkey said.  
  
"Well, what can you expect with the clothes you wear nowadays?" Paprika answered accusingly.  
  
"Well, it's not like I'm going to turn Muslim just because all the clothes they sell nowadays are skimpy," Turtle explained. "By the way, if Monkey does something stupid which she will undoubtedly do, we'll use Escape Plan #36."  
  
"Which is?" Paprika asked.  
  
"It's the one where Tigris, Aria, Stella, and Rhee fight off the hoard of angry villagers while the rest of us get in the ship and sail away while yelling at Monkey about how stupid she is. Oh, and if that doesn't work, I can always do my demon child routine," Turtle explained.  
  
"Why does that sound so much like Escape Plan #42?" Paprika asked.  
  
"It's basically the same thing except #42 involves angry hoardes of peasants and me turning into a dragon," Turtle explained.  
  
"Right . . ." Paprika said.  
  
I've got to go get something to eat. Bye! 


	7. Of Crews and Hangovers

BTW: Monkey helped me write this, so if it's insane or offensive, blame her.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Of Crews and Hangovers  
  
When we last saw our heroes, they were slowly getting drunker (Is that a word?) and drunker. Or at least Monkey and Rhee were. Monkey was on her 6th mug and was giggling insanely and trying to kiss Doctress. Rhee however was on her 12th and was staring murderously at Will and asking him crazy questions like, "Why is the grass purple?"  
  
"It isn't." Will had never seen Rhee do this before.  
  
"That's not relevant. WHY?!" Rhee continued. "Never mind. You're too stupid to understand. I'll go ask the sacred flames." Rhee punched Will in the nose conveniently knocking him out and continued with her crazy plan to sacrifice Tortuga to the "sacred flames."  
  
"I hate to say I told you so. But considering the fact that I did, I have to say it. I told you so." Turtle was as sober and morbid as ever. "Now she's going to burn down Tortuga."  
  
"How do YOU know?" Paprika questioned.  
  
"I know everything," Turtle said mysteriously. Everyone in the bar silently stared at her. Suddenly they were interrupted by a loud scream from the barn where Mr. Gibbs was complacently sleeping on a pile of pigs. All the sober people ran outside. The drunks just giggled.  
  
Monkey was chasing Doctress followed by Turtle-Bot who was yelling, "Mush! Mush!" Tibby was crying. While several stupid drunks went off to "comfort" Tibby, Rhee was insanely laughing as she took out her lucky lighter and lit everything that wasn't moving on fire. Mr. Gibbs got up and ran in circles for a couple of minutes before realizing that he wasn't on fire and jumped in the bay.  
  
Suddenly Tibby started singing, "Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends . . ."  
  
Paprika started dancing and singing along. Some weirdo had slipped something in her drink.  
  
Then suddenly, everyone froze and fell on the ground in a deep sleep, because Turtle had nothing better to end that chaos with when she wrote this. (Monkey's idea)  
  
*The next morning*  
  
"My head . . ." Monkey and Rhee moaned. Tortuga had survived the night. And they hadn't even been forced to use Escape Plan #36, at least not yet. . .  
  
"It's your own durn fault," said Turtle. They all get up and start wandering aimlessly. Monkey and Rhiannon were complaining about their heads, stopping once every ten minutes to puke.  
  
Suddenly, a portal opened and Penguin, Queen of Mushrooms fell out. Her glance fell on Monkey and Rhee and a mischievous grin appeared on her face. She opened her mouth and began singing loudly, "I wish I were 21, 21, 21. I wish I were 21 so I could drive a car!"  
  
Monkey let out a shriek, covered her ears and ran away only to trip and fall into the bay.  
  
Turtle started to sing the second verse, but doubled over laughing so hard that the water she had just drunk came spewing out of her nose. That made Paprika start laughing and soon the whole gang was on the ground laughing their asses off.  
  
*Two hours later*  
  
10 men, one who looked suspiciously like a woman, and the whole crazy gang stood in front of Jack and Will.  
  
"You are all invited to be on my and young Turner's crew! We are going to rescue his bonnie lass and get my ship back." Jack declared, looking at all of them with his gorgeous, wacky grin. "Mr. Cotton!" he barked suddenly. "Do you agree to help us in the face of danger and stick to the code and all that crap?"  
  
Mr. Cotton remained silent staring at Jack.  
  
"ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"He's a mute, Cap'n," Mr. Gibbs spoke up. "Got his tongue cut out in the Black Trade." Cotton opened his mouth to let Jack see. "He trained the parrot to talk for 'im. No one's yet figgered out how."  
  
Will raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Mr. Cotton's parrot," Jack said. "Same question!"  
  
"YES!" the parrot squacked. What they didn't know was that Tigris was sitting behind the parrot about to eat it.  
  
"What's in it for us?" a voice said. It was the man who looked suspiciously like a woman. Jacked went over to him/her and pulled off the hat that covered his/her face.  
  
"Anamaria!" Jack cried. "Fancy seein' you 'ere!" Anamaria slapped him.  
  
"Let me guess," Will said. "You didn't deserve that?"  
  
"No, no, that one I did deserve."  
  
"You took my SHIP!!!" Anamaria yelled angrily.  
  
"Well I'll get you another ship!" Jack cried. "Just don't slap me again," he muttered so only Paprika could hear him.  
  
"A better ship!" Will chimed in.  
  
"A better ship!" Jack echoed.  
  
"That ship!" Will yelled pointing. He glanced to where he was pointing. It was at the Carnival Pride.  
  
"I knew I should have closed that portal!" Turtle muttered.  
  
"Uh, I mean that one!" he cried pointing at the Interceptor.  
  
"What?!" Jack cried. "Uh, I mean yes that ship. You can have that ship!"  
  
I'm so, so sorry, yall, but Monkey wrote a lot of this. I'm sorry if you have no sense of humor and find this offensive. Get a life. 


	8. Onward!

Chapter 8  
  
Onward!  
  
So our heroes have recruited a crew for Jack's ship. Turtle's house boat is being crewed by what few members of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Queens are with them. They have just started away from Tortuga.  
  
On the houseboat, Turtle was brewing some tea to help Monkey and Rhee with their hangovers. "You are so lucky that I'm such a nice person. You had better not do this at any of the Independence Day balls. Speaking of which, what are you going to where to Freece's Independence Day ball?" Turtle had been asking Monkey this for weeks, but Monkey had yet to come up with a costume. "Never mind. I know you haven't got a clue what to wear. I'm going to go join Penguin in singing stupid songs at the bow." Turtle walked to the front of the boat leaving Monkey and Rhee to wallow in self pity.  
  
Penguin had just started singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall" when Turtle walked up and joined in.  
  
Meanwhile on Jack's ship, Stella and Aria were swinging about the ship in a reckless fashion while humming "On the Road Again".  
  
"Tell me again why we can't shoot those stupid monkeys," Mr. Gibbs moaned.  
  
"They're immortal." Jack was wondering how many times he had to tell Gibbs this.  
  
"So?" Mr. Gibbs was incredulously idiotic.  
  
"They won't die!" Jack explained.  
  
"Oh." Mr. Gibbs thought Jack was smart. However Will had told Jack what immortal meant a few minutes before when Jack had asked him why he couldn't shoot Aria and Stella.  
  
~*~MEANWHILE, ON THE BLACK PEARL~*~  
  
Elizabeth was currently trying to force them to let her escape by screaming a certain song that gets on everybody's nerves. "I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES! EVERYBODY'S NERVES! EVERYBODY'S NERVES! I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!"  
  
"Tell me why we can't kill her again," asked the dude whose eye always popped out at the worst times.  
  
"Because we need her blood. Now shut up!" answered Barbossa who had been asked that a million times in the past five minutes.  
  
The dude shut up. He had been told that about a million times in the past five minutes. Why did people have to be so rude? It wasn't his fault he had a bad memory.  
  
I'm currently running out of ideas so e-mail me, if you have any ideas! My e-mail address is dolphingirl32202@yahoo.com. And now for a word from our sponsors . . .  
  
RRREEEVVVIIIEEEWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Thank you. 


	9. A Dramatic and Mysterious Exit

Chapter 9  
  
A dramatic exit  
  
"Hey, DUDES!!!!!!!" Turtle had an announcement.  
  
"What?!" the pirate dudes yelled back.  
  
"My friends and I have to leave to go on a little trip. I'm not going to tell you where we're going, because I like being mysterious." The pirates groaned. Turtle gave them the evil eye. They shut up. "Inform us of everything everyday by dropping letters through this portal. Letters back will inform you if anything goes wrong with our plans. If you don't hear from us for a week, then Monkey got drunk again and blew up the world we were in." Monkey was too hung over to realize what Turtle was saying, therefore she didn't hurt Turtle severely. "So like . . . bye, and stuff." Turtle was so eloquent. They went back to the house boat and sailed through a portal which Turtle opened and closed behind them.  
  
Isn't it mysterious! I needed an excuse for them to go into Book 3, so read and review both books. 


	10. A Few Freekish Makeovers

Disclaimer: All that I own is Turtle (because I AM Turtle for those of you who haven't guessed.), Doctress (Technically she owns herself, but untechnically she's all mine.), Tibby (She would be dead if it weren't for me.), Tigris (Most of my other pets are foolish. Tigris doesn't fly into glass doors.), Freece, and my plot. The P.O.T.C. stuff ain't mine. The other characters and countries belong to the other S.O.T.T.Q. (Sisterhood of the Travelling Queens) members.  
  
Author's Note: I was listening to the new Nickelback CD when I wrote this, and considering the fact that I had this "planned" the day before I wrote it, it might be kind of warped. Thank you for reading anyway (*hint hint*).  
  
The Infamous Chapter 10  
  
A Few Freekish Makeovers  
  
The merry little group, consisting of Turtle, Doctress, Tigris, Tibby, Monkey, Rhee, Turtle-Bot, Aria, Stella, Penguin, Raitlin, Paprika, Nora, Kim, Pantoof, Horse, FOO!, Nancy, and the newly instated Devil Girl and Aquarius, walked through a portal from a medieval bar that they used as a pick-up point for parties simply because it freaked out the locals. Now freaking out the Royally Well-Paid Frecian Gardener Dudes, they "Freek- marched" up into the castle to begin the party. As everyone except Turtle and Doctress (who was doing special effects just to keep her happy) sat down in the really pretty light blue cushioned carved wooden chairs and admired the blue, gold, black, purple, and lime green decorations that plainly stated that Freece's Independence Day and Halloween were just as important as one another.  
  
Turtle brought everyone's attention to the dance floor by using it as a place to stand during her happy little speech of doom. "My fellow queens and members of the S.O.T.T.Q., welcome to the Frecian Independence Day Ball. As you can guess, I have a crazy idea prepared for today; and that idea is a group Freek Style makeover before the other victims-I mean guests get here." Tibby and Monkey screamed in fear at the thought of a makeover run by Turtle. "It's not that type of makeover, Monkey. It's a FREEK Style makeover. I'm gonna show y'all what it means to look and act like a true Freek. Therefore, follow. Onward!" Thus saying, Turtle led her friends down the hallway to the Royal Salon and Designer. She sat them all down in the salon chairs and a bunch of hairstylists put those weird haircut-jacket-things on everyone. "First we get to do your hair. Monkey, I'd say black with electric blue highlights and a little flip-up at the bottom. Tibby, you get black with just enough dark mauve to give hint of it being there. Doctress, instead of that block of hair like normal, what about spiked? Rhee, . . . how about a different style? Don't worry. I did my hair like this last summer. Shoulder length with a zigzag part in the middle and a little crimson to make it perfect. All the animals get to get their nails and fur done in the room next door. Paprika, black hair would go great with your pale skin as long as it's short enough to curve under your chin a little. That wispy bangs idea of yours would go great. Kim, you get to use an old idea of Paprika's." She handed the hair stylist a torn-out piece of notebook paper with a drawing on it. "Nora, you can go look at clothes; your look is okay. Horse, you need something with vivacity to match that red hair of yours. How about curls? Nancy, you get to keep your hair color, but I'd say a little bit of an 80's style curl would look good. FOO!, you need something different. Why not go lime green with a side-ponytail. Aquarius and Devil Girl, you can go look at clothes with Nora while the others get their hair done." Everyone rushed about to follow her orders as she looked at some clothes for herself.  
  
~*~A HALF-HOUR LATER~*~  
  
Everyone had finished getting their hair done and were looking at clothes and questioning Turtle's taste in clothes. Turtle was trying on a black long-sleeve dress that pooled about her feet making her look like a witch. Monkey had found a crimson button-up long-sleeve shirt and some black pants and was trying them on with some combat boots with flames on the sides. Nora had been convinced into trying a hunter green flare-sleeve shirt with a black lacy ankle-length skirt and was gaping in a mirror. Devil Girl had dressed rocker-style with black jeans, a bright red skull- flower T-shirt, boots, and her usual red hooded jacket with devil horns on the hood. Kim was wearing a skull cheerleader outfit and looking at some dark green lipstick. Tibby was looking at a dark mauve 20's style dress. Doctress was wearing the gothic outfit from Book 1 and putting on some dark purple eye shadow. FOO! was trying on a dark green skull shirt with a black skeletal poodle skirt. Nancy was wearing a hot pink and black striped Wednesday (from the Adams Family) style dress and getting her hair braided (So one of my ideas didn't work!). Horse was being forced into trying on a dark blue Greek style long-sleeve dress that was really sparkly. Aquarius was wearing a bright purple T-shirt with an advertisement for the morgue on it with black jeans and combat boots. Yes, I know this is rather boring to those of you who aren't girly, but it turns out interesting and really changes a few characters' ideas about fashion and Freek Style.  
  
~*~2 HOURS LATER~*~  
  
Everyone was finally done getting their makeovers and was dancing with the entire population of the Frakken (It's the capital of Freece.) City Cemetery. Rhee had spiked the punch and was being chased about in the Royal Gardens by the Royally Well-Paid Gardener Dudes. Monkey was giggling mischievously, and Turtle was howling at the full moon. Penguin and her evil twin, Raitlin, were playing pranks on the population of Frakken. Kim was cheering something about undead bovine (cows). Tigris, Aria, Stella, and the undead people were scaring the crap out of Trick-or-Treating kids by inviting them to join the party. A few underage teenagers joined and began wondering what caused all the chaos but then resumed their usual amount of stupidity. So basically all in all, it was a pretty normal night considering Freece. 


	11. Accursed Realization!

Accursed Realization  
  
By talking to Horse, I have come to the horrible realization that FOO! is a guy. I, of course, didn't know that considering that all the other AP's are girls considering most of my characters are girls. So apparently FOO! has a crush on Monkey. I thought FOO! was simply obsessed. I apologize for any bets you may have lost by saying that FOO! is a girl or anything that may have happened. 


	12. The Day After the Ball

Disclaimer: I own Turtle, Tigris, Tibby, Doctress, Freece, and the plot. THAT IS ALL!!! So don't sue me.  
  
Chapter 12  
  
The Day after the Ball  
  
When last we saw our "hero people", they were at the ball acting like hoodlums to be very vague considering the fact that you should already know this seeing as you SHOULD have read the last chapter. So far, Monkey, Rhee, Aria, Stella, and a bunch of dead/undead people that Turtle invited from the Frakken City Cemetery were all drunk. Tibby had gone strangely evil after her Freekish makeover and was cackling for some odd reason. Doctress had lit some nearby resident's wig on fire and was laughing as the poor woman ran about. Aria, Stella, Tigris, and the dead were scaring all the trick-or-treaters away and guarding the candy just in case some telekinetic trick-or-treaters came. Turtle was howling at the moon in the Royal Gardens and getting sugar high from all the candy that those "kind children" had dropped when they screamed. Basically, it was pandemonium.  
So as you can guess, the next morning was terrible to say the least. Monkey, Rhee, Aria, and Stella were hung over. Half of the kids in Frakken were grounded for lying to their parents about the undead. Tibby was doing the funky chicken on the graves where the undead people had gone after the party. Doctress was in her room, sleeping. Tigris was drinking the blood of a lawyer and considering starting a cult centered on her. Turtle was asleep in a tree. She had climbed the tree, because she wanted to sleep where she could see the stars. FOO! was hung over. He was supremely depressed about the fact that Monkey would never be his girlfriend. Nora was gardening in the Royal Gardens. Paprika was asleep in one of the guest suites. Horse was locked in a closet for being such a goody-goody. (A/N: Sorry, Horse, but you are a goody-goody.) Nancy was talking to Kim about calling Barbie to clean up the mess that Turtle had caused. Aquarius was poking Turtle. "Marshmallow? Hello?"  
Turtle fell out of the tree and proceeded to scream at Aquarius in Frecian, thus waking up the entire castle. "Kashca ooyai! Ya coonyshoony y faranishka. Ptui!" She pantomimed spitting on Aquarius' shoes. Translation: "You suck! You are annoying and bothersome. Ptui!"  
"Good morning." Aquarius didn't understand Frecian. Only Frecians spoke it. And they usually spoke English.  
  
As you can guess, I have an excuse for this chapter being hurried. Monkey asked me to update every story (except Book 1) that I have written on FF or FP (fiction press) three times for her birthday present. MUST KEEP WRITING! BTW: RRREEEVVVIIIEEEWWW!!!!!!!! Thank you for your time. 


	13. The Dreaded Chapter 13

The Dreaded Chapter 13  
  
Later that afternoon when everyone had recovered from the night before, Turtle led the group into the Big Old Super Duper Portal Room. First allow me to describe the characters.  
  
TURTLE: Her hair is currently lime green, although she is planning on changing it, seeing as her hair will probably get her into trouble if she tries to hide from anybody. At the moment it is worn down with Freek Horns, a style including small pigtails on the side of a person's head. She is wearing a long black dress with a rectangular neck, hippie sleeves, and a dark green scarf belt. As for weapons, she carries a sword visibly sheaved at her side, a dagger hidden in between the dress and her back, a small pocket knife in her right Freek Horn, and a Swiss Army knife in her left. She would be wearing combat boots, but she wouldn't want them to get wet. Therefore she is wearing black slippers.  
DOCTRESS: Her hair is its usual red block only slightly restrained by a black velvet headband. She is wearing jeans and a skull in a "sock fro" T-shirt. (A/N: A sock fro is when you use socks as curler things all over your head.) For weapons, she has tiny bottles of poison disguised as earrings and a few knifes hidden in her hair. As for shoes, she is wearing combat boots.  
TIBBY: Her hair is light brown, shiny, and worn shoulder length with curls. She is the only one dressed for the time period in a violet colonial style dress. She doesn't bother to carry weapons seeing as "everyone will defend her". Yeah right.  
TIGRIS: She has cleaned up from her vampiric incident with that stupid lawyer.  
MONKEY: She is wearing black pants and a long-sleeved silk crimson shirt. Her hair is currently black and curves with her face ending in a ragged looking bit at her chin. She carries a single decorative knife and a lighter in her pocket.  
RHEE: Her hair is tinted crimson with a zigzag part curving inward. She is wearing a black tee with the words "The Loony Lovegood Fan Club" and further down "We're all nuts." She isn't supposed to be carrying weapons, but just in case, she has an enlarging torture chamber kit for entertainment purposes.  
ARIA AND STELLA: They are their usual insane selves.  
PAPRIKA: Her hair is still black in the same style. She's wearing a light blue tee with jeans. She doesn't carry any weapons, because she doesn't want to hurt anybody.  
NORA: Nora's hair is still blonde with a chin length wave. She wears a red, green, and white Swedish dress. She doesn't carry any weapons.  
KIM: Kim is wearing a green skull cheerleader outfit. For weapons she carries her razor sharp pom-poms.  
PANTOOF: He is his usual glowing light brown kangaroo self.  
HORSE: Her shoulder length red hair is still curly. She wears jeans and a blue and white striped shirt. She doesn't carry any weapons, because she thinks that violence is stupid.  
FOO!: His hair is dark brown and cut short. He looks gorgeous in jeans and a black tee. For weapons he openly carries a sheaved sword and dagger. He has a lighter in his pocket along with a Swiss Army knife.  
NANCY: Nancy's blonde hair is shoulder length and slightly curved up at the bottom. She is wearing a spaghetti strap pale blue dress with matching sandals.  
PENGUIN: Penguin's short curly dirty blonde hair is pulled back to prevent it getting messed up. She is wearing jeans with blue flowers embroidered at the bottom with a Mexican style light blue shirt. She carries her sword sheaved.  
RAITLIN: Her hair isn't pulled back making her look slightly different from Penguin. She wears a black tee that says "Chaos" in big red letters with jeans. For a weapon she carries a pretty knife sheaved.  
DEVIL GIRL: Devil Girl's long blonde hair is down as always. She wears a black tee, jeans, and her red hooded and horned jacket. She carries a knife sheaved in her pocket.  
AQUARIUS: Her almost chin length wavy brown hair is down seeing as she couldn't put it up if she wanted to. She wears a bright blue tee with jeans. She doesn't bother to carry any weapons, because she can poke to death any being alive or dead.  
  
They proceed through a portal marked "The Hobbit" with Turtle and Monkey going first, Doctress and Rhee next, then Aria and Stella, Penguin and Raitlin, Tigris and Pantoof, Horse and Nora, Nancy and Kim, Devil Girl and Aquarius, Tibby, and finally FOO!, all alone. 


End file.
